I should really be asleep, but I'm writing here instead. The reasons for this are complicated and varied, which often is something I say when I can't quite put my finger on a single one, and this is an instance of that.

There are 3 things bothering me right now, and I am at a loss to fix any of them. And there's been no one around since Lish left to heave my helplessness onto. I hate feeling helpless. I'm a compulsive fixer. If I can't fix what's bothering me, I seek out someone else and try to get them to feed me something I can fix, in some kind of karma-fishing pay-it-forwarding that pans out so seldom I fail to see why I go for it so often.

Sometimes, when I get lonely, or upset, I go driving. Just sort of aimlessly toodling around, usually with high-decibel music going, sometimes with the appropriate climate-control device for the season going entirely too hard - I've come back from doing this in winter positively red all over, with my eyes dried from the heat.

Tonight, I documented it. I'm not sure whether I look at it as a positive or negative thing, but very few of the shots came out.

I kept the A/C within normal bounds because it was humid out and I had window frosting problems to contend with. I had new, and good music, check. It was loud, check. It was a Sunday night, so even the frat boys were curled up asleep, check. Yet, I didn't feel all that much better when I got back. This is happening more and more when I do this, which is contributing to me doing it less and less.

It seems that less and less I'm certain how to return myself back to feeling "me." And I don't know why on earth I think I could be any help to someone else needing that.

I suppose it's something to think about. I need to stop wasting these moments though.

In site news, I think I'm gonna stop posting the new TRB tracks here in advance of the official site, because it's been a while since anybody said much about 'em. In that case, it just makes more sense to plop them on the official page and them as wants em can get them.

Although, seeing the tracks listed here reassures me that I am still pumping out some kind of creative product on a semi-regular basis.

I dunno. I need to sleep on it.

I need to sleep period.

[i'll be there, motown style]