I now get about 30 spam emails a day, and most of them are pretty predictable, but I save the ones with really choice subject lines, because while I despise it, the art of trying to get spam through does sort of fascinate me.

The following is a rundown, with some commentary, of ones I've recieved this week-

"Average wemon want to meet you" - I'm reminded of the Simpsons episode where they crossed over with The Critic, and they show Jay interviewing Rainer Wolfcastle, who had just made a wretched movie. After playing a clip, Jay asks him, "How do you sleep at night?" and Wolfcastle, with his thick and not-so-well-done German accent, says "On top of a pile of mohney, with many beautiful weemon."

"Patrick! Do you wish you could stop telemarketing calls?" - OK. I hope the irony here is self-evident to anyone intelligent enough to be operating a computer and simultaneously reading English. See, it's Spam offering to help with Phone Spam. Yeah.

"is her boyfriend coping with the pain" - I just don't even know where to start with this one. This is the best of a sort of pack of quasi random-gen sentences, that all tend to circle around people you would indirectly know getting over feelings or hardships, like "his father's in the hospital." Anyway, I'm used to random computerized attempts at plausible subject lines with spam, these just caught me as being strangely twisted.

I had a couple more, but it occurs to me this may not be as interesting a read as I'd initially thought.

Though, since I'm doing it, I'll hit the hall of fame ones I've mentioned in the past:

"Introducing Uncle Rummy's Hangover Pills" - the wonderproduct that mocks you as it helps you.

"i was told you are fat" - See, people just delete "Lose 20 pounds in 45 minutes" spam. This has that personal, highly tactless touch.

In a neck-jarringly different vein of conversation, you guys can check out some of the work I'm doin' on a project I came up with earlier this year, that has now mutated from a flash cartoon to a comic strip, because that's easier for one person to do...

click for gallery

Oh yeah, and I've now been informed that the 2002 version of Teenage Caveman is actually not a remake. It's just an unfortunate cooincidence that 2 awful movies share the same nonsensical name.

So, one could say that almost all of my last entry sort of falls apart now. However, I stand by my statements about additional Blade movies being indirect works of Satan, and David Warner totally rocking the house.

Oh, and the knock on Andrew Keegan too.

[not pony tales or cotton tales, no]