Actual Quotes from me:

After seeing Live Free or Die Hard:

"I don't want to alarm you, or have you feel threatened, but I think, if the opportunity were to present itself, I would totally do Bruce Willis. I don't mean I'd chase him down or stalk him or anything, just, you know, if it so happened, he and I somehow landed in that kind of situation, I'd go for it."

Less than six minutes into Transformers:

"I would totally have sex with Peter Cullen's voice, and it's NOT EVEN A TANGIBLE, PHYSICAL CONSTRUCT!"

I would mention the other "big" summer movie I saw, Spiderman 3, but I do not count it as a summer blockbuster because: a) it was early May, and b) it sucked horribly. Also, I wouldn't say I was particularly gay for it, although I find Kirsten Dunst so very unattractive that it may have actually contributed to homosexual tendency by repulsion rather than attraction.

I'm comfortable with my heterosexuality despite having said these things, though I will admit to being leery of my lust creeping into intangible waveforms. Seriously, though, Peter, call me. That's all I need.

There was absolutely no point to this post, but I had the luxury of driving the eternity home from Kennesaw, and much of it cropped into my delirious and sleep-deprived brain. I suppose there are a couple of funny bits that may justify the potential alienation I may be inflicting on any genuinely gay person who takes their sexuality seriously enough to object to me using the phrase "gay for" as a puerile source of humor. Sorry 'bout that. It's okay, hypothetical gay reader, you can admit to being totally hetero for Mila Jovavich. I have conducted actual studies and found quite conclusively that everyone wants to do Mila Jovavich, women especially. So, you're in on this too, Lesbians. We can all bond over that. The Fifth Element may prove to be the most significant catalyst for the understanding of sexual identity of the 20th century.

I've read over this now several times, and decided I rather hate this post. However, it feels so good to have posted something that I'm going to leave it.

[strangely i find i am heterosexual for porn]