The Z Axis

the light went on

So, I'm gonna skip over the part about me having a kidney stone.

I've been the the hospital more in the past year than the 10 preceeding it, and it's getting pretty tiresome.

And yes, they suck about as much as you've heard. I'm feeling much better now, thank you, let's just get past the bit about me straining my urine.

And now, for some things that are marginally different.

I'm a huge fan of Venture Bros, though I wasn't initially. I'm now convinced its the best thing Adult Swim has pumped out since the original wave, and that includes Robot Chicken. God save "Jackson Publick", though I'm sure that's a meaningless call given whatever he had to do to get J.G. Thirlwell to do the music.

Today I finally watched what I guess was last week's episode, "Careers in Science," and I'd like to comment on the utter hillarity, if you'll allow.

See, Dr. Venture's father, Dr. Venture, built this giant orbiting space station, Gargantua 1. And the crew on the station calls current Dr. Venture, because there is something wrong with it.

He gets there, and they show him to the control room, wherein they show him this giant steel panel, featureless except for this:

Which is hillarious enough, but as this is happening, this dialogue occurs: (click for MP3)

VENTURE: So, what's the problem?
(SCIENTIST shows him the lit-up light labeled "Problem")
SCIENTIST: The light went on.
VENTURE: Oh! That's...helpful.
SCIENTIST: And...that's never happened before.

I think I may very well make a large steel panel with a similarly labeled LED, and not even hook it up to anything. Seems it would make a highly reassuring conversation piece / wall hanging.

HYPOTHETICAL CONCERNED PERSONAGE: Hey, is everything okay?
HYPOTHETICAL ME: I dunno, check the problem light.
(HYPOTHETICAL CONCERNED PERSONAGE checks light, and finds it dark.)
HYPOTHETICAL MOLLIFIED PERSONAGE: Let's get some tacos!
HYPOTHETICAL ME: Yay!

Plus it would go a long way toward having something tangible to point to to shut my head up from time to time, even if I secretly knew it wasn't hooked up.

Anyway, I thought I'd share that. It cracked me up, and I went so far as to make an animated gif of the light blinking for LJ users, but to make it in under the 40k cap you have to reduce the color depth into unrecognizable bitmap slurry.

That is thing one.

Thing two is that while I've been..er..incapacitated and kept in a pretty constant state of "too tired to focus on anything meaningful" I've managed to do a couple interesting things, number one of which is teach myself how to do comic book word balloons in photoshop that actually look good.

I was talking to a guy I know on IRC named basic, who runs basicstories, and we were talking about webcomics. If you go to his site, it appears unupdated, but the comics are fresh and plentiful. His comics are more touching and personal than any of the unreleased ones I've fiddled with in my time, but they have the same kind of sort of amateur looking framing and lettering that has been part of why I didn't release any or mine.

So, I found out he had a package of sweet comic lettering fonts, and in my abdomenal-pain-killer-high I fiddled a lot.

First, I made this, which I was pretty happy with the type work and bubbling on, and then revised it to this. Then, I decided a challenge was in order, and did what I always considered really damned hard - an interrupting dialog set.

I still think my art kinda blows, so I don't know if you should expect a new comics section of the Z axis any time soon, but I'd already made the gifs to show off, and what's a blog if not a giant cyber scrapbook.

Speaking of which, I think it's time I tied the ribbon or whatever the hell it is you do on a chapter of a scrapbook. Now that I'm feeling considerably better, normal posting schedule will probably resume.

[mmm hypothetical tacos]

zero six one niner

This is freaking fascinating.

I suddenly wish I had a shortwave radio.

That is all.

[beep]

the monkeys would rebel, see

A new TRB song is available.

the rage box - fight song

It's got some funkay organ work. It's pretty good, nothing I'm wetting myself over, but much better than its immediate predecessor.

Alternative titles that came to mind were "Against the wall," "Against all odds," and "Finn's Monkey Rebellion Overture." One of those is a lie.

This has been TRB trivia for the day.

ITW's back up, let's hear it for Dave.

Anyone who hasn't gotten my new home # and wants it, send me an IM. I'm still tickled by the insane cheapness and the sweet number.

I can't seem to motivate myself to write right now - not yet tired, but words ain't comin'. So, I'll leave you with this bit of hillarious awful, and call it a day.

[he makes them wear uniforms]

god to dan castellaneta

I am absolutely exhausted right now. I started today (Friday) in a great mood, and for the large part remained in it the entire day. After all the raving I did about Frou Frou a couple entries ago, a day or 2 ago I grabbed the only album I know them to have at the moment, Details. Tonight, I went to Athens to fetch some furniture and odds and ends, and seeing how exhausting loading all that was, the drive home seemed like the perfect time to give it a first all-the-way-through listen and just take a slow, relaxing, thoughtful drive.

And that's where this becomes a long story.

Sometimes, when I listen to an album, (quite often when it is one I thoroughly enjoy from start to finish,) there is one song that seems to make all the others look like crap. This always diminishes with further listening, as they all seem to show their wonderous sides, but often one just leaps out as the immediate stand out favorite track on the disc. The sixth track, Only Got One, is a perfect example.

This is especially impressive as I was already quite taken with the first track on the disc. I recommend purchasing the album highly, but if you must, at least P2P that track.

It was while listening to it that I made what is in retrospect an incredibly easy and helpful decision. But to explain that situation even to myself required about 30 minutes of driving and weeks of thought. I don't quite know why I'm doing so publicly, but I'll lay out that process here, because I will want to look back on this mental state later. I know myself well enough to know that.

Part of the reason I had been in sort of a disassociated mental break for a couple weeks (see the prior entry mentioning frou frou for the initial snap) was due to my constant analysis of my past, my current state, and what I want for the future. After seeing Garden State, something weird happened in me, because it frankly dealt head on with a lot of things that were going on with me, and though I loved the movie, the somewhat ambiguous ending killed me.

So, anyway. It was only recently that I'd been coming out of this sort of out of body experience, and only through several weeks of trying to mull over the point made by the movie and then left essentially unresolved. I had made no more progress than the movie.

Earlier in the day, I had had a couple very nice conversations with Leslie - they weren't fawning goo-goo or any particularly notable kind, just a match up of fairly good moods, I think, and they made me really happy. Since there was little else to do on the hourlong trip back from Athens, I was thinking about a lot of stuff and listening to this new album.

And this song hits me, as I've described. I knew it with "Animals" by BT, and I knew it with this one. There's a part of this song like 45 seconds in where, I don't know how to describe it, the "notes" hit by the singer's voice, they exactly matched this tune I heard a random guy playing on a guitar on a city sidewalk 3000 miles, 7 and a half years, and seemingly a hundred different mes ago. And it sent me shooting back to a day when I felt exactly like today, the exact same kind of happy mood, and realized I'd even had the same kind of conversations with the woman I was gonzo over at the time.

This got me to thinking in a different vein, somewhat. The relationship I was in at that time seemed absolutely untenable. It was great in the present time - I don't use the phrase "gonzo over" lightly, but in the long term there seemed to be an enormous number of obstacles. In the end, there turned out to be.

And this experience, among other things, has turned me into an obsessive analyzer. I'm not picky about the shallow things many people are when it comes to a relationship, but I'm also a lot more serious about my romantic selections than most people my age. I am only in the market for something long term - flings seem a complete waste of my time and emotional involvement. This has caused me no end of thought and consternation on even the slightest compatibility issues with various women. I mean it when I say I'm not in the market for something I can't see ending in marriage and a life together. This is not to say I'm in any huge rush to get married, or even settle down, simply that I am wary of anything that provides obvious blockage to that eventually happening. I have an entire post I've worked on off and on for a month about what I want in my love life, as I've been considering the issue.

But, this is not that post. The short version is, there is a very well defined kind of relationship I'm looking for, and I'm willing to do a tremendous amount of thinking and work to get there.

So, I analyze things, and furrow my brow about things, and miss out on a lot of life, because I'm looking for how to connect the present to a happily ever after that may or may not exist. I make myself miserable with a longing to see that path so clearly, and that can't make the time easy for those around me. I'm a compulsive fixer, and when solutions elude me, I devote more and more time and frustration to them.

However, I wouldn't do this if I wasn't quite serious about eventually ending up there. So, I'm at odds with myself, which should come as a surprise to no one who is still actually reading this.

While listening to this song and marveling at how it sent me back in an impossibly unconnected way, I got some sort of interesting jolt of insight from myself in the past, insane as that seems.

My twenty-third birthday is in less than a month. And fifteen year old Patrick had an interesting thought about this, now that I had such a rare and bizarre connection to him.

"What are you so worried about?"

And then he pointed to a number of people around him who were 25, and I remembered them. And I had that kind of moment of understanding, usually from such a simple concept, that for overanalytical people like myself yanks you back from whatever disassociated state you may have been in and simultaneously slaps you across the face for being so stupid. And you burst out laughing. Then, now that you're in on the gag, the moment shows you a highlight reel of all the bad things that have happened due to your stupidity.

Now bear in mind, worried is a bad term there. It's not a losing sleep or fingernail biting scenario. It's more like, "Why are you even bothering your head with this shit?"

I said it was simple. Why was I, indeed?

And in that exact instant, I decided, fuck it. I'm not worrying about this crap til then. I'm going to live for a bit, and see how that goes, and if I can't see the path, I'm going to have fun ambling about in the dark, and trust that I'll either get there, or it will be okay to pick up the pursuit again in a couple years. There are so many things I trust myself to fix or pull together without any kind of plan. I think due to my own insecurity about my love life, that it has been one thing that I always felt I needed to look ahead for trouble in. But honestly, even looking as I am right now at myself at 25, that's still very young.

If I had to start my romantic life from the ground up then, it would not be the end of the world, and simple and everyday as that statement may be to many people, it was a bit of a revelation for me.

I can afford to take til then to not waste my time on overly specific hopes, and simply live day to day.

Again, I'm not so obsessive to have lost sleep over this kind of debate, but I seldom do just one thing. I think a lot. When you're cooking dinner you can't be writing or playing video games. And my brain is of a type that considers cooking dinner and only cooking dinner a waste of computrons, and my brain cells are dying at a constant rate. So, while I stir the Rice-a-Roni, I think. While I drive to the store to get the Rice-a-Roni, I think. While I toodle around the store, having figured out the quickest route to get all the things I needed during the walk from my car to the store, I think. You get the idea. For the past couple weeks this has entirely consumed my idle thinking time, because I'm also firmly committed to the notion that doing whatever you want without considering the future will leave you with memories of fleeting experiences and ultimately nothing. I've known that is not me for a very long time. But, there are shades of grey, and I can't neglect this part of life and think that it won't completely ruin the next part, the one I'm so focused on. The regrets of what I didn't do today while pondering tomorrow may ruin even the best tomorrow.

So, til the day I turn 25, fuck it.

As I said rather cryptically in a prior entry, I have many reminders.

I have things that give me hope.

But for now, fuck 'em. Not forever, and I have now put in digital concrete when I will pick them up again. But for now, screw it. I'm once again (finally) taking sir James of tatooine's several-year-old advice, and pissing off a balcony. Metaphorically speaking, of course, but if I'm at your apartment, and you keep feeding me beer, who knows. Because if not now, when.

After 2 weeks of making me mentally cave in, and bringing me to actual sissy-if-you-wanna-be-a-macho-jerk tears, Frou Frou hath redeemed themselves by somehow spurring this.

And the original post (and song) ring true.

there is indeed some beauty in the breakdown.

[i told you it was a long story]

with many thanks to greg

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. -The Buddha

I find this to be one of the truer things I have ever read.

[also some props to the buddha i guess]

lunch break song

A new TRB song is available.

the rage box - mist chamber

I literally made this while eating lunch. I don't typically eat lunch, but for once I was insanely hungry about 1pm.

While eating, this happened. It ain't great, but wtf, it's a lunch break song.

[normal human time is scary]

Picture Wednesday

[ed. note] - this was written yesterday, and I forgot to make it a published post. This is probably a bad sign for a regularly scheduled feature, but oh well.

So in keeping with last week's top five feature, I've decided to add a Wednesday feature as well, and for those of you viewing this page off my site rather than from a syndication feed, you'll even see a snazzy "feature" category graphic.

There are people out there who catblog, dogblog, pudublog, you name it, on specific days of the week.

Not having a pet of my own and figuring it would get pretty stale pretty quickly, I decided to base these 2 features around things I do all the time anyway. One is make hierarchical lists of irrelevant things, and the other is save random images I come across whilst scouring the internet.

This is the inaugural post of Picture Wednesday here at the Z axis, which is part of my ongoing "Get off your ass and write more" initiative. I save many things that tickle my fancy for many reasons, because I am a compulsive archivist. I may get them from various game forums I read, I may get them from fark photoshop contests, there is no way to know where they might come from, only that I will amass them on a constant basis. I share this the benefits of this psychological affliction with you now.

Since it's the first post, we'll start off with two pictures instead of the normal one.

From now on, these entries will simply be a link, with a confusing description of some sort as the text of the link.

PIES!!

OMGHORDE4TW!!!1!11

If you don't get the 2nd one at all, don't worry, I wouldn't have til I started playing World of Warcraft. If nothing else it's a funny baby picture.

[well that was a waste of time]

pinned to the celing, wrapped around my neck

And true, it may seem like a stretch,
but it's thoughts like this that catch
my troubled head when you're away -
when I am missing you to death

- someone else is as sentimental a fool as I.

Valentine's day came and went, and no taco bell for me this time. To get that, you'd have to have been a viewer of this site from before I
converted it to a blog, though some evidence remains on the old server.

Leslie and I cooincidentally exchanged stuffed monkeys. I am choosing to see this as significant and cute, rather than cooincidence. I am also choosing not to read anything unsettling into the fact that the one she gave me was bigger, was a gorilla, and had accessory handcuffs. Colon right parenthesis.

I've written before about how the obligatory nature of Valentine's makes me sad, and I wish more people took the time to make tiny expressions of love on a regular basis, when they felt moved by something, and not do so because Hallmark commanded them to. I feel I have a pretty good record in this regard, unlike many of the things I preach without practicing. But despite that, I still like Valentine's day. I still like seeing two guys - who are admittedly only in the seasonal aisle because they don't want to get yelled at by their respective ladies for being empty handed - let down their guard and debate with each other what to get based on their feelings. Forced though it may be, it still makes me smile to see guys actually let down their macho filter and brag to others about the reasons why they are in love. It's like thanksgiving to me, but for love, and I'm a hell of a lot more thankful for love than I am a bounty of turkey. I'd eat hot dogs for the rest of my life for the right kind of love.

It was the first Valentine's day I can remember where I felt loved in a romantic way. Strangely, I've never had an adult relationship in full bloom on Valentine's - they're always either just starting, or even in the "Hey, let's go out sometime" stage, or somewhat recently torn asunder.

Winter is generally not kind to my love life.

I survived, and would like for spring to kindly get off its ass and arrive.

It was a very exhausting weekend for me, and involved the craziest sleep schedule I have ever had, and so I'm still a little worse for wear. I just spent all morning on a resume/portfolio site for a job listing on Craig's List, and after getting all the nuts and bolts working I've kinda decided I hate the way it looks. I suppose it's still a step in the right direction of getting a coherent web portfolio together, instead of saying "err wait let me try this address" over and over. I cleaned up some of the sites I will be showing off, and took the steps needed to cleanly (and on a reliable server) display some of my graphic design experience and prowess (read: photoshop SKIZNILLZZZZZ BEEAAATCH.)

I am making progress toward the life I want, I swear.

they will see us waving from such great heights
"come down, now"
they'll say

[i have many reminders]

amnesty

About sixty days.

A while back, I figured out how to block IPs from being able to view this site via my hosting service control panel.

Today all but one of those bans are lifted. MSN search, screw you. You're still banned. Forever.

Valentine's recap tomorrow - right now, there is drinking and lots of sleep to be had.

[embiggens the smallest man]

Friday Top Five - The Beginning

Even before I saw High Fidelity, I enjoyed making random top 5 lists. Listing 10 sometimes threw me, but on almost any topic I could rattle off at least 5 things, and any topic I knew more than 5 for, I could pretty easily prioritize which got 5 billing. I always enjoyed the debates I had with myself when it came to sorting them into a hierarchy. It's been one of the things I have done to amuse myself for a while, sometimes in margins in class notes, sometimes in my head while cooking (top five uses for parsley: 1- giving the illusion of chlorophyll to a steak platter...,) whenever.

I'm gonna try to make it a regular feature on Fridays to do one.

Apparently there isn't enough structure to my life.

So, Top Five Playwrights:

1. Henrik Ibsen
2. Aaron Sorkin
3. Aristophanes
4. William Shakespeare
5. Tom Stoppard

You may notice Shakespeare isn't number one on the list. This is my fault. I get easily annoyed with english grammatical constructs that I have to consult footnotes to comprehend. It's not that I'm too lazy to parse "Twasn't not twither thou wouldst if thy verily couldn't hope to never again say ere..." and then something about a fortnight.

Well, maybe it is that I'm lazy. Regardless, there's a language barrier there, and while I don't hold it against his effort, he gets bumped. Burn. You didn't make number one, billy-boy. I guess you'll just have to take some posthumous solace in being roundly considered the greatest writer to ever live and have your plays live on into the 24th century wherein they will be used to teach androids valuable lessons about life by the intrepid Captain Picard.

Neil Simon got bumped by Aristophanes. Sorry, man, I have the ghost of Thespus to worry about. "They point out what is important by mocking that which is not." They bring humility. He and Sophocles knew their shit.

Luigi Pirandello got bumped by Stoppard. Which sucks. But that's the no-holds-barred world of a 5 slot battle.

Anyone who wanted Samuel Beckett, Edward Albee, or Moliere, well, you can take Vladimir and Estragon with you on your way to hell, spend two hours screaming at each other, and teach me french, repectively.

Eventually I will probably post next week's top five topic at the end of this week's entry, but I don't have a firm one yet. Next week's will probably have something to do with cartoon ninjas, which means 2 slots are probably already burned with Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, and Snake Eyes clearly gets the top slot there. After that I could easily fill out the rest of the list with mutant turtles, but that seems kind of cheap.

I'll figure something out.

Right now I have other, unstructured things to do.

[what a freakin' nerd]

an explanation

For those who were kind of lost on the content of the last entry, see, I have this Batphone.

My brother has a couple in his house, and I (was) pretty much the only person he knows (knew) with one, and so his son, my Nephew, has basically never seen that phone used to talk to anyone who wasn't me. This private networkness is in fact why we call it the Batphone, though now both my brothers, myself, and my friend Kevin have them. Kevin is even considering getting a cake display to put his in, for true batphone-ness.

So, my nephew thinks of this phone as a direct line to me, which it kinda is.

My nephew is apparently pretty fond of me.

So at random times he decides he wants to call me. He's gotten his nanny to let him call my cell phone several times, in the course of which he has invited me over to his house, usually for some activity I do not comprehend at all, like "rebuilding the boat." I later found out that the "boat" was a particular arrangement of wooden blocks in their living room that had been Godzilla'd.

Now that he understands the batphone, he likes to call and say hi and sometimes ask me about things he's holding, and it's too adorable for me to break the news that I can't see them. Plus, he seems to enjoy my made up answers as much as he would any real one.

The mp3 in the last entry was made of a couple voicemails he left me, when I was not near the batphone. He apparently isn't on such solid ground when it comes to the voicemail concept, so he needed some prompting. My sister in law especially could hardly contain her laughter when she was indulging him in calling me, and then had to walk him through it when he completely spaced on his objective after getting the voicemail prompt. Michael, my brother, managed to rush him through pretty quickly, but Jennifer apparently enjoyed watching Mitch flounder a bit, and I must say I would've lost it at his smug declaration that his name was Mitch.

They weren't prompting him, just trying to move him along, and I kinda feel bad that they have to humor him. But man, it makes for some cute voicemails.

[emma isn't over any more]

AWWWWWWWW

BOW BEFORE MY NEPHEW'S CUTENESS!

[and to think i called the batphone silly]

group nine, what's your status

I slept from 5am sunday eve/monday morning, until approximately midnight last night. This was following quite a day.

Many things have happened, though I can't say what they will mean in the long run.

I have upgraded the blog's backend software, and all appears to be well.

I have gotten through much of the emotional turmoil that consumed the past week. There remain things to be talked about, and I do not know what is going to happen.

I am listening to "Lo Delta" by Afterlife frequently, and calming down, and then listening to "Let Go" by Frou Frou, and coming to the verge of tears.

I do not know what is going to happen.

I am coming to terms with myself as a person people might like with less than total concentration and training, and the outward doings of such by those writers who inspired me to start something as self serving and demonstrably pointless as a blog have given me part of whatever I needed to write about such a process here.

I am worth a considerable amount to the right person, and still have value to even the average one, and I am becoming increasingly obsessed with separating people into the two categories.

I have a date tonight, and I do not know what will happen. But I know I will be me, and however the chips fall from that, that's how they fall.

Right now, I feel oddly like Peter Gibbons after his detachment from the world in Office Space, and I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not.

I don't know what's going to happen, but this is what's happening.

[group nine we do not read, copy back]

make the homies say ho

I don't delete posts, even when I want to, because if I said something at a given time, I was obviously feeling it, and I don't take erasing my own history lightly. However, to take the edge off the rather cryptic and heavy posts of late, here's something completely out of nowhere.

Since I moved out of Athens, I haven't had a place to work on geeky project type stuff, and before I left, I managed to fix most of the nagging technical issues I'd been having. In short, in the topical rut I had dug for myself, I had little to blog about. Nothing was causing me problems, so there were no technological dragons to slay, and I wasn't making much headway on any neat projects. So, in largely avoiding inflicting depressing chunks of ennui upon the blog, I have been having a hard time finding something to write about, save for some general updates and a couple entries lauding the lovely and talented Leslie.

Well, that losing streak ended this morning. This one's a doozy. Well, for my ego anyway.

So, I can't sleep, and I'm listening to some music, and in and amongst my playlist comes on one of my songs. I begin to try to take to heart the venerable BadServo's commentary on the last couple things I've thrown out there, and this gets me listening, for comparison's sake, to several of my "songs," including one I hardly remembered making. This eventually led to a vanity Googling of "the rage box." There are things I do when I can't sleep that I'm not proud of.

Much to my surprise and initial chagrin, I found this page, right above the link to my official one. Seems like a page that features the search term about 4000 times in links should rate higher, but obviously Google knows their shit. Now, scroll alllll the way to the bottom of the enigmatic DJ Hypnos' playlist.

Now, if you do enough research with the available information, there are a number of almost terrifyingly odd things about this. I will list them in no particular order, and supply all the links you need to find the information I found.

This DJ is, as near as I can tell, from Romania. I have never, to my knowledge, been to Romania.

This playlist is from a set he did in a bar in Romania, called the Silencio Bar. They have a cool flash site that I have enjoyed despite being able to read precisely 4 words of. I have also never been to the Silencio Bar, but I suddenly feel an obsessive desire to go.

Given the track he played, it seemed a sure thing that he had a copy of Don't Touch My Car!!, which seems to be corroborated by the appearance of Stelladrine's "Black Helicopters over New Mexico" in his other show 2 weeks earlier, as shown here.

October 28th, when this set was played, is the birthday of one of the most important people in my life to date.

"Thunder and Lightning" apparently closed the set.

Oh, and lest I forget, I have never been to Romania.

So.

To summarize: a crappy song I made with 2 hands and a computer was played for (presumably) more than one person, in an industrial bar, in Bucharest.

Ladies, form a line to my left for makeouts. Dudes, form a line to my right for high fives.

I feel like a rock star, only without the talent or groupies or actual fans.

Still, some guy I've never met played a song I made off a CD made by a guy he'd probably never met in a country only one of the 3 of us has probably ever been to.

And I managed to figure all this out from the comfort of my bedroom, with a lack of sleep.

Anyone who says the internet is not the greatest invention in human history must have a friend with a working prototype Holodeck, is all I'm saying.

[and the girlies wanna scream]

like waves in which you drown me

Well, my stomach is feeling much better, thanks to a text message.

But, I am being dragged into upgrading movable type by my new host. So, if the blog is down in the next couple days, it means I either screwed it up, or they temporarily cut my service til I get it fixed.

[shouting]

my stomach hurts

Inbox


There are no messages in this folder.

4440644477777777099966688

[speed me towards death]

8 years hence

the necklace stays on another week.

Finn, happy bronze and rubber.

[a bit cryptic, wouldn't you say?]

so desperately i sing to thee of love

A new TRB song is available.

the rage box - dungeon of my mind

It's not as good as the last one, but it's better than a bunch of the recent ones.

I needed to work off some, well, stuff.

I have nothing else to add at this time. I hope things are going well for everyone, and if the math works out like it usually does, they will be.

Furthermore, Lindsay's post about the high heels is taken entirely out of context.

Tomorrow is an important day that I've a feeling is not going to go well.

[sure but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self part 2]